Wild pigs and the slight possibility that they have the ability to write.
Hummmm- OK, I’ll bite, chew and yup – I like it.
I have a problem. I have the strong suspicion that I sound crazy when I speak.
Crazy, stupid and not “all there”.
I’ve run this thought across M, and she assures me that in fact, I’m mistaken, and that I don’t sound like an idiot 99.99% of the time that I open my mouth.
Even with that assurance, I am very self conscious about the way I use words even if I think I use them correctly. But, I don’t think I have the ability to put them together correctly. I think that I have them in my basket; I just can’t sort them out into a sentence or thought that really conveys what I want to say.
In short – I don’t like the way I talk, and I think I sound unintelligent.
I’m about 3% away from actually being labeled intelligent...but not quite there. And I’ll never gain that mysterious 3%.
How do I listen, or interpret what is said to me?
Well, I do take about everything that is said to me to heart – at least for the first few seconds that it bounces around in my brain. I pass it though a filter, and I am able to distill out what I need to hold close and what I need to let go (which I can never really do).
Not all that surprising- I take a lot to my heart. I really value what a person says to me, and I feel that my reactions to what was said are solidly based on their utterance – rather than my own well developed opinion.
It takes a good while for me to develop an opinion. I need time to really absorb all the information that I can and to put it into my crazy order – only to, yet again, sound stupid.
I hear others in my circle of acquaintances speak, and they are very well spoken, and I just don’t match up to them. This intimidates me further.
So, words that are spoken to me or about me are very important. I give them great weight.
I don’t think there are enough people that truly take what is said to them to heart.
It’s unfortunate – but makes life interesting - maybe.
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