A very strange day today - a day when many
old memories surfaced and pushed my mood towards the slightly melancholic.
It started as I was looking at some old vacation locations on Google
Earth. I then ventured into some of my online photo albums and pulled up
old shots of my father. Not really old - maybe 5-7 years ago. A
lifetime ago really. A time where he knew my name.
Where we could sit at
a table and drink scotch and carry on conversations. In those conversations,
some were pretty banal - others deep and meaningful - either way, I seem to
remember making connections with him that had never before developed.
So,
now, I am stuck with the connections we made then.
We can go no further.
And, I think this is OK.
It’s my opinion that as humans we seek to
make connections.
Richard Bausch in his contributor’s notes concerning
this story writes that - “...I knew I wanted to bring them to some pass that
would mean a sort of helpless embrace.”
I think it’s natural that because of
the divorce I sought out deep and meaningful connections with my father - and
as I matured and wondered where his mind was during the divorce, I sought to
understand him more through our discussions.
When dad and I sat together
and drank, it was our embrace.
I remembered those embraces today and I’ll
remember them tonight as I practice my Thursday night scotch drinking ritual.
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