Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Commuter Marriage – Joan Wickersham



Poking around the net it’s nice to see that Joan is still writing and reading and writing!

I enjoyed this story. It moved along at a nice pace, the characters had depth, vivid honest human settings, and I feel that it had that late 1980s feel moving towards the writing of the early 90s – glad that Ravenel and Ford decided to include it.

I never had a commuter marriage –fortunately -  in fact, I think the longest M and I have been apart during our marriage was just under a week during training I had back in the early 2000s.

When I hear about commuter marriages I wonder how they survive – but many do. I know that some couples can’t survive if they are too close – and I wonder what they thought they were getting into.
I feel that our arrangement is the right one. You see, I think that if it were any other way, I would not be the person that I am today. M reins me in. She keeps me on a pretty tight leash and actually, for my own sanity and health, that’s a very good thing.

It’s said that men who are married live longer and that can partially be attributed to the fact that they have a spouse that forces them to take care of themselves…go to the Dr. – eat right maybe get some exercise.

Sometime back in 2003---M was in the bathroom, getting ready for work and I walked in to pee. I can’t remember what I had been doing right before that but halfway through peeing, I became light headed and basically dropped to the floor. Close to passing out but not quite.

Of course this freaks her out. A doctor’s appointment is made and I’m in the exam room within the week. Guess who had high cholesterol – and not-so-good blood pressure and had to get a liver biopsy – that indicated that he had a fatty liver?

I was overweight, had a poor diet, drank too much and didn’t exercise.

Enter the concerned motivated wife with a bullwhip.

Stopped drinking cold turkey, began eating like an adult, (no more Doritos, Mountain Dew and Oreos for lunch) and started morning walks.

As the months passed the focus on nutrition became a passion, the walks turned into runs, and as the months and years passed, the run developed into marathons and an ultra – and now have become a priority in my life.

I can say that because of her – and our marriage, my life is one that is much more liveable.
I, we, could never have a commuter marriage. I could never live in Maine at a French fry factory sitting at my father’s old desk with M in NYC living with some friends. I understand Maisie and her concerns about her marriage – I don’t image it lasted.

Head over to Joan’s webpage. Check her out on Facebook – she does readings quite often – and look at that – she was up at Vermont College of Fine Arts (VCFA) in Montpelier last year – I knew it as Vermont College when I was at Norwich and took a couple classes there.








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