Scales - Louise Erdrich

Louise Erdrich - June 7, 1954

I have spent the last nine years of my life sitting in a somewhat comfortable chair in a climate controlled office surrounded by hundreds of books and piles of newspapers, facing a computer screen, tapping in letters and numbers into software and applications, drinking coffee and tea, eating hot food as the world outside of my office continues to spin and others live lives much more uncomfortable than mine.

When I was younger, I thought about what my life was going to be like when I was...well...this age.

I figured that I wanted to be in an office doing office work rather than outside digging ditches. I wanted to be my own boss and have the time to do what I wanted to do.

Well, I have that. I’m not my own boss, but I have an extraordinary amount of freedom in my work.

I have settled down and am quite comfortable in my work.

These short stories allow me to experience life outside of my comfortable office window. “Scales” took me to a part of America that most of us rarely think about. It caused me to reflect on my own life and work and realize how fortunate I am to have been given so much in my life. The color of my skin, the country I call home, the opportunities I have been afforded, the knowledge I have gained...all of these and more add up to where I am today and where I will be tomorrow.

“Scales” caused me to look at those people, workers, who sit at scales day after day...or stand and sit in mind numbing jobs and wonder where in their lives they took a path that placed them where they are.

There is a neighbor of ours who works at a little restaurant down the street form our home.

He is my age and spends from 10:00 until 9:00 in the evening at the restaurant working. After that, he buys a 12 pack of beer and from what I can tell...consumes the entire half case. Empties fill the trashcans between our places.

He wakes up the next day and does it all over again. Is he happy? Is this what he thought he would be doing while I was thinking the same thing 25 years ago?

The Count and the Princess – Joseph Epstein

Joseph Epstein - January 9, 1937

“Let chaos come”

I love the above little sentence that appeared as if by magic, as I quickly reviewed this short before writing this piece. It is a phrase that I need to embrace.

Those who deal with me on a daily basis, and my family, would all agree, that I have the extreme need to control chaos.

I suppose I should say “need to control the events and happenings in my life”.

I’ve been working real hard lately to allow things to naturally fall into place and slowly let them ferment and develop a little before I respond to them.

You see, in a few short months, a little being is going to enter into this world (the Princess), and he or she will be throwing all sorts of chaos curveballs in my direction (The Count) for THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!

My life, M’s life, as we know it today, is going to be over in a few short months. We made this decision and are more than happy with it.

We had a wonderful 10 years together – just the two of us, but now...there will of course be the two of us plus another.

Just as The Count snaps his cane across his knee and dashes out the door laughing – I too am in the process of snapping my canes and will soon be laughing – manically!!! (joke).

I am comfortable with this new phase in life – this soon to be state of chaos.

My past is my past, and will soon be consumed by my present.

I will become someone new – shaped by the chaos.

“Let the chaos come”

I’ll be placing this short on my short list of favorites. I love it.

My Mistress – Laurie Colwin

Laurie Colwin - June 14, 1944 – October 24, 1992

Call me old fashioned – call me uptight – call me stuffy - call me ignorant – call me innocent.

I just don’t know how people can do it. I guess the first problem is that we are – people, and people do this sort of thing. They have mistresses and secret lovers. They have relationships and affairs behind the backs of their husbands and wives.

I just don’t understand it. I don’t understand this part of human behavior. Yes, I understand that most of us...nearly all of use want love, need to be loved and also love others – but if you are going to commit yourself to loving one person, to be in a relationship with that one person, then why would you risk so much by violating their trust?

What do you have to gain?

Can any good really come of it?

There are crimes that people commit in the world that alter the paths of others in a way that they could never be the same. Murder, rape, abuse...you get the picture.

How could someone use the emotion of love though to cause such damage to another?

It was written that Colwin wrote about love.

She wrote this story from the vantage point of a man. A man loving his mistress.

It’s an interesting read – a woman’s perspective of having a mistress.

She did a fine job.

"Ollie,oh..." - Carolyn Chute

Carolyn Chute - June 14, 1947

Chute is a nutcase.

I would call her that to her face, and I think she would take it as a compliment, and if she didn’t I think that she would allow me to explain my label.

I really enjoy nutcase authors. I really enjoyed “Ollie,oh...” because you can tell that it was written by a nutcase author.

You know the uncomfortable feeling you get when you encounter someone who is just a little off?

It’s exciting and scary at the same time. You can’t read their personality as easily as you could with the normal people you run across in your life.

That’s how I felt as I pushed into this story.

Chute has a wonderful way and abilty to turn words.

Take these few couple of sentences which finish off the story and a disturbing scene.

“Her lids slid over icy eyes. Her breath was like carrots into his breath. He reached. And her frame folded into his hip.”

OK – let’s look at these last few sentences.

My first thought when reading “Her breath was like carrots into his breath” was simply...”what the hell???”

It took a second for me to develop my own interpretation of what that meant.

It works though.

Carrots.

I have a niece and nephew who I am fortunate enough to see at least once a week. They are aged 5 and 2. I love to hear them talk about, explain and discuss their world. Their perspective or view of our world hasn’t been placed into the Lucite box that most adults have been placed into. It isn’t uncommon for them to say something that immediately sounds nonsensical...but after a few seconds of the listener’s mental digestion, it makes all the sense in the world, and paints a beautiful picture.

Chute writes like this.

Chute doesn’t write like her fellow early 80s authors. She doesn’t write like the authors churned out of workshops...authors that are going to fill piles and piles of literary magazines through the years and into the present.

I think that I can safely push Chute into my column of the “most interesting” authors that I have researched for this little project. She has no problem firing off a few rounds from her AK-47, is the spokesperson for the 2^nd Maine militia, favors flowing skirts and hiking boots, uses an outhouse and works on her stories/novels on a huge typewriter.

Good for her.